I sometimes think, am I really going to reach my goal of 265lbs? I do doubt myself almost everyday, even after I weigh in and bust my butt in the gym to see the pounds continue to come off. I have very high self esteem, even at my biggest point in my weight. But I do continue to doubt that I will see 265lbs. I believe that the reason why is that I have done all this before, lost alot of weight, been convicted and strong in my drive, but all to just go back at 100mph.
So as I got on the scale today and saw that I did meet my weekly goal again, I still have the doubt and the fear of this all just being another phase in my life and it will all go back to the way it was, sore, super heavy, tired, hard to find clothes, cant ride that amusement park ride with my kids, need a seat belt extention for the plane flight, blood pressure pills, sweat tying my shoes, cant reach my shoes, hard to get out of bed, fear of death at an early age, not seeing my grandkids, sex not as fun, just flat out worthless! But then I think, F-THAT!!! Never again will those phrases describe me! I am working my ass off in the gym, I am eating what I am supposed to and the amounts I am supposed to and I am not on any medications!
The old me will never see the light of day again and the new me continues to be re-defined in my health and fitness. My war on my obiesity rages on and especially in my doubts, but let it be known that I am here for the long haul and nothing will stand in my way! I will always be Big Dean but I am done with Obiese Dean! -265.36.XL is not a dream but a reality!
"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties" -Francis Bacon