Only a Man

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

My life as an Obese Man

I have been thinking alot lately on how I came to be over 450 pounds. Did I over eat at a young age, did I eat all day an sit around watching TV, did my parents pass on bad eating habits to me, did my life revolve around food? Well, crap, the answer to all those questions is YES! I failed my body from the time I could feed myself. Did my parents help put me here, yes, but are they to blame, no. You are heavily influenced at early ages but by the time you are in middle school and high school, if your not morbidly obese, you have many options to start taking care of yourself. I realize I just decided not to. I was lazy.

I was the smallest kid in my class up to 6th grade, by the time 8th grade rolled around I was the tallest and biggest. It was great! I loved being Big Dean, and still do. But I also could see the social issues at that age and did nothing about it. Clothes were hard to find, desks were hard to fit in, the jokes were coming, but the recognition was there as Big Dean. As a freshman in high school I was 6'4" and about 265 pounds. I did not play any sports and was not active. I was just Big Dean. By the time I graduated high school I was 6'7" 315 pounds and a lettered 3 years in football. I hated to work out but loved playing the sport. I had multiple opportunities to play Division I Football in college but chose Community College, why? Because I was lazy, scared and not committed.


It wasn't until Community College did I start getting and understanding the health and fitness aspect of life and sports. My coach put me on a strict diet and workout program and I turned into the physical specimen that I now desire to be again. I was on my way to a Division I Scholarship to play football! I blew my knee out my sophomore year and was out. I transferred to Fresno State to finish out my college career and due to family obligations, I was married and we were expecting our first child, I had to drop out. I ballooned up to 365 pounds. I was back to sitting on the couch and overeating and not being active. My struggle with obesity was back and stronger than ever.


I look back now and realize that it is so mental for me. I do believe I felt like a failure and just stopped caring about my own health. Since that time I have lost and gained more weight than I can even add up. I have weighed up to 475 pounds and down to 300 pounds. It has been a roller coaster of weight loss and gain, it wasn't until that last 2 years, now 44 years old, did it finally catch up to me medically.


I have never had high anything when it comes to blood pressure, cholesterol or blood sugars. I am now fighting to stay off blood pressure medications and am still recovering from major back surgery issues. All this from years of neglect on my body and health. I never thought that it would get to this point. I cant even think of not being able to see my grand kids, my own kids at important milestones in their life and just being with my wife on a daily basis. I cant let this just be another up and down in my history of weight loss attempts. This is bigger than just being "skinny", this is about being "alive". I will conquer this and win this fight. I have too, its not an option this time. -265.36.XL

2 comments:

  1. Hey, cousin! I feel ya, my brother. The battle of the bulge is a daily thing for me, too. Thank you for being brave and putting your thoughts on the Interweb .
    I'll be checking this daily for updates and might get brave enough to share some of my own struggles... Which will be easier with a computer keyboard instead of this stupid telephone. There you go. I've already revealed one of my struggles. Typing on a 3"x2" keyboard.
    Teresa and I try to pray together daily. I'll be adding you to our list! Talk to you soon... Chris

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    1. Great to hear from you Chris! I had to do this I was getting closer to being a legit quarter ton of fun! Not good! I will be updating every chance I get, I hope you and the family are doing well. You need to get your butt out to the best coast and visit, you always have a place to stay!

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